By George, I Think I've Got It!

Okay, so remember when I said that I was going to drop out of college?

No?

Okay, you probably wouldn't remember because I was too depressed to write about it.

Long story, short:

I've missed a lot, I mean A LOT, of class this semester.  I haven't been feeling well at all. It is this suckish CHRONIC FATIGUE.  

I've been doing MOST of my work but at the same time, I can't always turn it in or get assignments because I am not in class and  sometimes too scared to communicate with my professors.

So, when I finally decided that I was going to attempt to go to class at least twice a week, it seemed pointless.

I hated my major:  Communication Studies.


Are we serious?


Studying communication?


And what type of job is that supposed to render?


Exactly.


I called my parents and told them that I was dropping out of college.  I understand that I would graduate in December but I felt like I was going to die if I kept going.  Literally, die.  Either by suicide or health related issues.

I love education.  Everything about it gives me life! In my dream life, I would have a bachelor degree in Elementary Education and my masters in Special Education.

Then it clicked.

I ONLY get one life and right now, mine sucks.

The 20s are supposed to be the highlight of your life and right now at this moment, my 20s have sucked.

• horrible relationships [like dude i love gets two females pregnant]
• sorority rejection [long story]
• health issues [chronic]

So, I am taking control!

UGA has a Special Education program that is ONLINE!  

Sweet baby Jesus, it is online!

Which means, for those of you who cannot keep up with my random way of typing, that I can take my classes from the computer and not worry about physical attendance!

Now, I do understand that during this time I will have to recover and learn to live, work, cope and conquer this chronic illness. But it gives me the time to do so, stay on my parents insurance and get the degree that I want.  

So, in the mean time.  I am finishing up my incompletes from Spring 2011 and I am dropping this whole semester.  

Now, I would sincerely appreciate if Student Services would help me hardship withdrawal from this semester, since I am ill, but I am not above getting a full semester of F's.  

I don't need the stress. It literally makes me sick.

So... my lovely people, please pay attention because during this life I will conquer Crohn's.  Believe that!

Chronic Illness in College...

Like, seriously, how is this supposed to work?  I mean, I am sick... A LOT.  Does that mean I shouldn't be able to get a degree?  My cognitive skills are well above average but my physical health isn't great.  70% of the time I am sleepy or in pain.  Stuff blows dude!  But my brain still works, I mean, it works overtime.  Especially when I am not feeling well.  A lot of times I don't have the energy to go to class but I can still do the work.  hmmm... I know, I know, take online classes.  Well, I can't.  I mean, I don't want to.  I enjoy going to class, when I can.  In plus, I go to the University of Georgia and they don't really offer things like that here.  :(  I will figure it out.  :)

Hilarious YouTube Video

Thank God for remission but...

"He ain't through with me yet!"


I really just wanted to take time to blog and thank God for bringing me this far.  As most of you all know, I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease in April.  I really thought I was at the high point of my life- everything was going right- or so I thought.  Abruptly in the middle of my fairy tale I was whisked away to the hospital for a week and told I had a Chronic Illness called Crohn's Disease.


Ever since then, life has been a topsy turvy mess. Relationships were messing up, family wasn't understanding about my disease, my mom wanted me to clean my room[but whenever I had energy, I wanted to be with friends], I had work to make up for Spring classes and worst of all, no one thought I would return to the great University of Georgia.


None of the medicine helped.


I mean none.


The pain pills got me high, but seriously, I don't like that feeling.


I thought that the quality of my life was looking very dim and I thanked God that my sister was in law school because she might be taking care of me.  I didn't qualify for MedicAid or MediCare.  My mother was always spending money on medicine, deductibles, etc.  My father was always trying to juice something new.  


I am starting to cry because I really thank God for my support system.  


My medicine still doesn't help even though I am on the best and most expensive medicine out there.


But my mindset has changed.


I refuse to let an illness dictate my life.  


I refuse to lay in bed all week and not know what day of the week it is.


I refuse to spend my summers in the hospital.


I refuse to not be able to take care of my parents when they are older.


I refuse to not get this degree [i have worked too hard for it.]


I refuse to be thought of as the girl who can never do anything because of he disease.


Honestly, everyone, this is just the beginning.  This was my cue from God to slow down and enjoy every beautiful day that He has given me.  To stop and smell the roses.  


I am on a medicine called Cimzia that is a pretty good medicine, at least for me, but my ultimate goal is to be in remission without medication.


I know God will get me there.


Crohnie Love!

back in school

hey all!

i am excited to say that i went back to school a few weeks ago.

i have the 20 hours from the spring to complete and now 17 hours for the fall.

i know that i am probably overdoing it but i want to graduate in may. that is my goal.

i have been doing pretty good these last few weeks but recently, when my menstrual cycle is on, i get severely ill! :(

but my good days are outweighing my bad days so i am happy with it. :)

hopefully my professors understand.

eFF this ish!

Excuse my language! I've been home since April 16th 2011 and it is now July 11th 2011. I have been to the hospital a total of 5 times and admitted 3 times. I have been through 3 rounds of Prednisone [DEATH IN A BOTTLE], just finished my Pentasa and now I am on 6-mp [which is supposedly low dose chemo].
The side effects from this medicine is getting pretty bad and with the school year rapidly approaching, I am trying to figure out how this is going to work. I still have ALL these incompletes from my Spring Semester and I am scheduled to take 17 hours in the fall.
I have 32 hours left until I graduate from the University of Georgia but I am unsure if that will even happen at this point. eFF that! I am graduating!
My advisor is trying to get me to take 17 hours in the fall, 3 in the spring and then Student Teach next fall! Ermmm, no! Just 3 hours in the Spring? No will do!
*disclaimer: I have a GREAT advisor! I have an AWESOME major! My department is pretty much a Christian department... you can really see the servant attitude!

ehhh, that is just my little rant!

My Journey to the Truth... "You Can't Handle the Truth!"

Hey All! I hope everyone had a great day today!

I was diagnosed on 4/20/2011 and I am happy that I was finally diagnosed.

Since 2006, I have been dealing with abdominal pain, severe anemia, fatigue, or what my parents called LAZINESS! Is started college in Fall of 2007 and I would have great grades, then towards the middle of the semester my grades would drop, I would stop going to class, gain a lot of weight and tell people I was tired. This has been my tradition for four years now. My parents thought that I was just being lazy and slacking off but somedays I would be too physically weak to get out of bed. Other times, I would have spurts of "restlessness" and want to go out and have fun.

Since freshman year, I have had severe rectal itching, blood in my stool, severe anemia, and weight gain! I would go to the doctor and she would just tell me that I need to exercise or that it was the scar tissue from surgery I had before that made my anus itch.

But this semester was so different. I was making great grades [well, that usually happens] and in March, I started complaining about abdominal pain. I went to my PCP [primary care physician] and she diagnosed me with a UTI and gave me antibiotics. The pain went away but came back with a severe vengeance. I was in so much pain, people could see it on my face. I tried to suck it up and still attend class. I felt like I was already a let down because I wasn't graduating on time. Finally, the pain got to the point where I was throwing up horribly. Being an hour and a half away from home, I drove myself to the emergency room. My parents later joined me, as well as some classmates and I was diagnosed with a UTI again!

They gave me more antibiotics, put me on bed rest for a few days and sent me on my way. Five days later, the pain was worse. I couldn't hold any food down and was throwing up bile. I had NO ENERGY and had pretty much come to terms that I was just going to die... alone... in my bathroom. Luckily, my mom got in touch with me and some friends came to pick me up and take me to the Emergency Room. There they diagnosed me with Irritable Bowel Syndrome... I think. I was so doped up on drugs, that I had no idea up from down.

After that, my parents decided it would be best to take me back to Atlanta, where they could watch me and help me get better. Now on my 3rd or 4th round of antibiotics, I couldn't even keep them down. I was throwing up more bile. And to top it off, my mom kept trying to give me more medicine. Finally, they took me to the Emergency Room. The average wait time was 3 hours, so my parents thought it would be best to take me to another one but I refused to move. HELLO??? Can someone just get me a bed to die in? As soon as we were about to leave, they triaged me and took me right back. Thank God! My wait time was 30 minutes. But when we got back there, they wanted to send me home and just refer me to a GI. My mom refused to take me home. Thanks Mom! They admitted me to the hospital and gave me Morphine. They did another CT Scan.... I forgot to mention the first one.

The next day, I met a surgeon and my GI, Dr. Sunshine [such a great name]. The surgeon told me that I had a bowel obstruction and it looked pretty "nasty." He would probably have to take me down to the table the next day. Dr. Sunshine then decided to order me a colonoscopy and I had to drink that nasty salty stuff to clean me out. MIND YOU, I HAVEN'T HAD ANYTHING TO EAT IN A WEEK= STARVING! After the colonoscopy, he told me that I had Crohn's Disease. So now I am on Prednisone [40mg and tapering], Pentasa [4000mg] and Iron [325mg]. Everytime I take my medicine, I feel like an AIDS patient.

Since then, I've been trying to figure out what to eat, how to have some energy, how to lose my Crohn's weight and how to make up all this school time.

Positive Side: My dad and mom aren't upset anymore about me not graduating on time because they see that it wasn't my fault.

Negative Side: I have to take out more Student Loans to fund my extra year of school.