Sunday, September 18, 2011

Thank God for remission but...

"He ain't through with me yet!"


I really just wanted to take time to blog and thank God for bringing me this far.  As most of you all know, I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease in April.  I really thought I was at the high point of my life- everything was going right- or so I thought.  Abruptly in the middle of my fairy tale I was whisked away to the hospital for a week and told I had a Chronic Illness called Crohn's Disease.


Ever since then, life has been a topsy turvy mess. Relationships were messing up, family wasn't understanding about my disease, my mom wanted me to clean my room[but whenever I had energy, I wanted to be with friends], I had work to make up for Spring classes and worst of all, no one thought I would return to the great University of Georgia.


None of the medicine helped.


I mean none.


The pain pills got me high, but seriously, I don't like that feeling.


I thought that the quality of my life was looking very dim and I thanked God that my sister was in law school because she might be taking care of me.  I didn't qualify for MedicAid or MediCare.  My mother was always spending money on medicine, deductibles, etc.  My father was always trying to juice something new.  


I am starting to cry because I really thank God for my support system.  


My medicine still doesn't help even though I am on the best and most expensive medicine out there.


But my mindset has changed.


I refuse to let an illness dictate my life.  


I refuse to lay in bed all week and not know what day of the week it is.


I refuse to spend my summers in the hospital.


I refuse to not be able to take care of my parents when they are older.


I refuse to not get this degree [i have worked too hard for it.]


I refuse to be thought of as the girl who can never do anything because of he disease.


Honestly, everyone, this is just the beginning.  This was my cue from God to slow down and enjoy every beautiful day that He has given me.  To stop and smell the roses.  


I am on a medicine called Cimzia that is a pretty good medicine, at least for me, but my ultimate goal is to be in remission without medication.


I know God will get me there.


Crohnie Love!